I’ll write a more detailed entry later, but here’s the gist of what happened:

Labor picked up immediately after my last post Sunday. Midwife and assistant got there around 7 or 8pm. I was in the bath, had just eaten and thrown up a half a cup of yogurt. When I changed positions to get out of the tub so they could check me, contractions started one on top the other and I could not move at all. We got the computer chair to wheel me back to the bedroom. No progress had been made. Midwife told me to labor on my left side and that it was good it hurt more to do that.

I listened to my hypnobabies while laboring on my left side and did a very good job of relaxing and not clenching through contractions. Around midnight or so, I had Mark get the assistant who took heart tones and said they were good. She offered to check me, but I was afraid no progress had been made and it would defeat me. Labored a little while longer on my left side until it was completely unbearable and had Mark help me into the computer chair to try sitting, but that was bad too. I got up on the bed on hands and knees and felt VERY pushy. I tried not to, but involuntarily did and felt liquid coming out I assumed was pee. Told Mark about feeling so pushy and that I thought he should get the midwife, who was sleeping in her car.

First thing she said when she saw my chux pad was, “that’s old mec. Not good. Baby will need lots of suctioning.”. Freaked me the fuck out.

She checked me and I was 4cm and baby’s head was not pressing right against my cervix. Very discouraging to me given the pain, my immobility and my strong urge to push. She scolded me for not having a maternity belt and said she thought that was the problem. She had me get on the chair through a contraction and checked me again and said the head was pressed against the cervix now. I was only able to control my urge to push maybe half the time. I knew it wasn’t a good idea as it would tear up my cervix, but my body didn’t care. I could no longer relax or unclench through contractions without pushing. She said neither would be productive. I told her I didn’t think I could do this at home anymore and we discussed going to the hospital for a while. I decided to go. It was a heartbreaking decision. Really truly difficult. They helped me down the stairs and the assistant said she was hopeful I would have a vaginal birth. I learned from my mom later the midwife told her that belt would have made “all the difference” for me.

The 20 minute ride to the hospital was horrible. I could usually control my urge to push. Contractions were about 2 min apart lasting 90 seconds. Took an excruciating hour before I was able to get an epidural during which time they found Noah’s heart rate was dropping in half during every contraction. Once the epidural was in I still had to fight the urge to push, but it was much easier to control. I was dilated to about 7cm. The OB came in and expressed her concerns about the heart rate, the meconium and the amount of time I’d still need to push. She recommended c-section, which we obviously wanted to avoid. She stood there for about 20 minutes with the CNM monitoring my contractions and things still weren’t looking good. I asked her about a million questions, such as whether the mec would mean the NICU automatically (no) and the amount of time it would take to get him to the breast and bunches of other stuff I can’t remember.

Very painfully, I decided on the c-section. It went similarly to the last time except all the epidural prep was done in my room. The OB commented that there was NO amniotic fluid, just thick, old meconium. They spent the longest time suctioning him and I was afraid this would affect his latch. She stitched me up in record time and Noah left with Mark only minutes before I was wheeled back to the room. It was still about 30 minutes total between birth and breastfeeding, but he latched right on. After about 15 minutes they had to separate us for some reason I can’t remember (we were still in the same room). When he got back to me he latched right on again, for 45 minutes. I could tell he was swallowing and his lips looked wet. He wasn’t nearly as groggy as Elias after birth and I was able to nurse him many times throughout the day and night. I got the epidural and catheter out last night and was able to start walking around. I feel lots better than the last time and I felt pretty good last time.

Mark called the midwife yesterday to give her an update. She said she wouldn’t feel comfortable visiting the hospital, but wants to visit us once we get home.

Not sure what else to write. I’m supposed to be released tomorrow so I’m sure I’ll write more then and share photos too.

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