I’m not going to talk about yesterday, mmmkay? Not about voting, the elections, the results, anything political nor anything personal. As far as I’m concerned, yesterday didn’t happen. (Nothing particularly bad happened; I would talk about that. It was just a yucky sort of day.) Thanks to everyone who lent support to me yesterday; y’all rock!

So our Comcast DVR has been screwing us. Twice now it records an hour long show and then only has PART of that show available to watch. I’m sure it has something to do with the hard drive and I’m pretty sure the entire length of the show is available for us to watch somewhere on the hard drive, it’s just not letting us. We missed half of last week’s Studio 60 (thankfully it seems to have recorded this week’s entire episode) and it only let us view the first 19 minutes of this week’s Heroes. I’m so upset about that because now we can’t watch this week’s episode in HD. Thankfully though, Sci-Fi replays the week’s episode on Fridays, so we have that scheduled to record.

We’re just going to have to back up all our series subscriptions on Tivo so we have a back up of everything in cases like this. We had to do that with The Amazing Race and have it record for an extra hour since stupid CBS loves playing football so much and screwing their Sunday night schedule. I’m sorry, but if week after week you know the program is going to start late and run late due to football, maybe you should move it to a different night! Why does CBS hate The Amazing Race? What does it have against Phil No Opportunity Wasted Keoghan? Arrggh!

I realize I love TV too much. I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to it any more than I’m addicted to watching movies. I could stop. I really could. I just don’t want to stop. Too much high quality programming out there.

Moving on.

I’m tired of being paranoid and worried about everything.

It was a little warm out in the main part of the apartment this morning, so I opened the window in the living room. I forgot to close it before leaving for work. Now I’m worried about my open window.

People always tell me to play the, “what’s the worst that can happen?” game, but I can think of perfectly plausible horrific scenarios for just about everything. For example:

What happens if one of the cats tries to claw the screen and she gets stuck, ripping open the screen in her frantic attempt to free herself? Or maybe Teyla or one of the cats press too closely to the screen, popping it out of the window? Then what happens if one of the cats, or God forbid Teyla thinks she can jump out of the window and go running around outside?

I am frantic. I am going to be bothered by this all damn day. I am chiding myself for not going home to close the window so none of these scenarios have any possibility of happening. What on earth would I do with myself if Teyla gets out because of this and gets run over by a car? I think the cats would have enough common sense to avoid cars and hang out near the apartment, but Teyla’s run right in front of cars before, with no worries.

Still, I can’t really explain to my supervisor that I left the window open at home and have to go home to close it just in case something horrible happens to the animals.

Give me a minute and I can think of seven more reasons why having the window open will destroy our lives forever.

One day we accidentally left chicken bones in the trash can and I forgot to take the trash before I went to work. I remembered three minutes into the drive to work and by the time I was halfway there, had myself convinced that Leah would knock over the trash can and everyone would choke to death on the chicken bones. Even though it made me ridiculously late for work, I turned around to go back home and take out the trash. Did it make one lick of difference? I’ll never know. And for that I am thankful: I’ll never know. After weighing things back and forth, I decided I would be able to live with myself if for some stupid reason I was written up or fired for being late (won’t happen) but there’s no way I could live with myself for causing the animals’ deaths in such a manner.

Why don’t normal people have these thoughts? Am I truly paranoid, or just overly cautious? Do you think I should go home and close my window? I’m pretty sure we’ve left it open before, but not since we got Teyla.

(I don’t even care about the fact that it’s probably going to rain today, right into the open window, possibly ruining the carpet, sill and/or furniture surrounding the window. And that’s much more likely to happen!)

I spent a ridiculous amount of time last night on MySpace looking for people with whom I went to elementary, middle or high school. Call it boredom, I guess. I was surprised I only recognized a small handful of people. For those who graduated in my high school class, they must have all changed drastically because I only recognized maybe three or four people. I knew most of my graduating class, so what’s up with that?

I found the girl who used to live next door to me. We were friends for a few years, then she became a little snot and I became friends with her older sister. I decided to write to her to say hi, but I evidently didn’t think this through. She wrote back to me within a few hours and repeated all the niceties I wrote in her message (hope you’re well, how’s it going, etc). I don’t really know what I hoped to come of this exchange, but I feel weird about writing back to her again. I guess I thought she would have responded with a few tidbits about how her life is going, but that’s invasive of me, isn’t it? As such, I don’t want to write back including any details about my life because I’m not sure she cares.

I think I might sit on it for a few days. I’m just not sure if I should try to be friendly with her or just forget I ever attempted to contact her. I didn’t like my life up in Maryland. I don’t like who I was in middle school. Writing to her sort of brought those feelings back to me and reminded me of who I was and how I acted during that time. I was just a stupid, selfish, immature kid. I’d like to think I’ve changed since then.

I don’t know how I feel about MySpace. No good has come of it yet. (By the way, here is a link to my profile if you want to friend me.) Mark actually deleted his profile because he was getting too many friends requests and messages from people he barely remembered who went to high school with him. He was apparently Mr. Popularity; however, that’s no surprise given his personality.

Yesterday I finished My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. The ending was sad and unexpected. It kind of felt like a slap in the face since it sort of negated, oh, the entire book. Okay, not really. I’m fine with the book’s ending. The story was nicely told. I felt Jesse’s storyline never really wrapped even though they did mention how he turned out. Whatever.

I’m starting Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs today. Reading Lolita in Tehran is still unfinished; I’ve found myself not really caring so much about anything that happens in that book. I think before I can really appreciate Reading Lolita I’ll need to read all the books discussed within it.

Speaking of my awkward middle school self, I addressed a middle school issue around this time years ago.

11/07/2001: Mr. Isham, Friends Only

11/07/1999: love vs. company, Public
11/08/1999: jealousy, Friends Only

Hope everyone has a great WednesLostday!

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